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he said, be mine

yes said she

here’s to taking chances

<3

16112009

what she longed for something small, something simple. but when a small favour becomes a burden, happiness ends with tears and conversations last only for awhile; happiness is not in the agenda for either side. he’s changed, his actions and the words are contradictory. when time spent with others are longer than time spent with her; she misses him, hoping that he misses her too. she feels like a burden now. the pain she feels every night, cannot compare to the tears she has shed. in a place like this, nothings ever fair. all the arguments, she created them. what he does not know is that, he’s changed drastically. is a conversation too much to ask? she’s tired of trying because she realized, she’s never good enough for him. he deserves better.

love

if love is a game then you have brought it to a whole different level

progress

maybe, just maybe

*fingers crossed* dont want to jinx it 

#2

Me: Should have allowance, if not how to get to work, how to eat lunch?

Master Phua: Don’t need to eat lunch then can get slimmer.

Me: *ouch*

Last night…

i fell asleep in your embrace, lulled by the steady rhythm of your heart beat, legs intertwined.

then i awoke to find it was all but a dream

P.S.

LawyerCousin: have you finished reading PS I LOVE YOU? very sad but romantic.

Me: i knowwwww!

LawyerCousin: ah ko [her husband] said people with half a brain like me only will read such book.

Me:

LawyerCousin: i asked him whether he will leave me  such notes, he said no but will leave me a fat cheque so i can go shopping while grieving

Me: eh, even better 

Lawyer Cousin: yea

∞

∞

my almost perfect [because there is no perfect guy out there] guy will know what to leave me when if he *touchwood* had to leave this world before i do.

∞

∞

my almost perfect guy will not have to leave me anything because he will never leave my side

Currently listening to: Emmy Rossum – Slow Me Down

revenge

last night, a certain cereal drink drink led me me to find something that shocked me. 2 assignments due within 24 hours of each other had me disconnected from the virtual world for the past 4 days. amazing how much can happen in such a short period of time. the veronica’s sing “revenge is sweeter than you ever were” but somehow, i’m not gloating as i thought i would. not a tinge of joy or happiness but a tad bit sorry for you. whatever it is, i wish you well, as i too, am pursuing my happiness

fear

“The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear.”
— H.P. Lovecraft

…

Fear is in every one of us, though some may beg to differ. As for myself, there are a lot of things i’m afraid of.

∞

Butterflies. It’s a real fear, there’s even a name for it, Lepidopterophobia. However beautiful these winged creatures may be, I am strangely, inexplicably and deathly afraid of them. I see one and immediately duck for cover. Yes, they cant possibly harm me but like I said, inexplicable.

∞

Growing up. I’m at a point in my life where I feel like I’m growing up too fast. Yes, I know everyone has to some time but I feel like it hid in a corner and just jumped on me unannounced. After this semester, there will be a 2 month long internship and after that, its out into the real world for this little piggy.

∞

Being alone. I dont know how to deal with being on my own. It feels like I’m losing the people i love. The elder sister is in UK, the younger one is moving has moved to setapak, granny is aging and friends dont seem to be around either as much as they used to be. I’ve never felt more alone. Or afraid.

∞

Change. It takes a while to get used to someone or something . But as life would have it, just as you get comfortable enough, change happens. And everything is turned upside down, leaving you stranded. It could be finding a lipstick shade that is so you only to find it discontinued. Or finding someone you are comfortable enough with only to lose that person.

∞

Disappointment. I’m afraid I’ll never achieve anything in life and disappoint all the people who have hopes for me. I am also afraid of being disappointed, one of the reasons why I can be pessimistic at times, expecting the worst.

∞

I am just afraid.

Snippets

Mr Phua : You’ve put on a lot ar.

Me : Huh?

Mr Phua : Last time wind blow also you will fly but now tornado blow also you wont move.

Me:

∞

Nephew : Ah ee ee, [little aunt] how old are you ar? 18? 19?

Me : 18

Currently listening to: Delta Goodrem – My Big Mistake

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